Boys
by Lake of Rage
Summary: Birthday gift for The Spookster. Oneshot. Earthbound/MOTHER3. Kumatora often dragged him out to school dances to "meet new people". But Lucas hadn't expected to be introduced to his long-time crush, Ness. And he certainly never expected his love to be requited. NessCas (Ness/Lucas) and PaulaTora (Paula/Kumatora).


_*deep breath*_

 _HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ONEECHAN!_

 _So, for anyone reading this who is not Oneechan, allow me to explain. This is a birthday gift for **The Spookster.** So, if it seems a bit rushed, that's because it is. Because I am a horrible human being who can never remember to do the things I need to do more than two minutes in advance._

 _I actually finished this at 6 AM the morning of her birthday, sooo... yeah. Needless to say, I may have procrastinated a bit more than I should've._

 _This is an AU in which the characters from EarthBound and Mother 3 are all in high school and are not ancestors of each other. Therefore, NessCas is not incest of any kind and I don't feel like I'm shipping five-year-olds. Also, yes, this is NessCas and KumaPaula / PaulaTora. Fight me._

 _In any case, let's get this party started!_

* * *

 **Boys**

"Dude, just go _tell him!"_

"I can't! You _know_ I can't!"

Dress shoes fighting for traction on the tile floor, Lucas dug his heels in, tugging frantically at his wrist. His slicked-back blonde hair was unruly, knocked askance by the struggle, and he reached up one hand to smooth it back down reflexively. "Ku- _ma!"_ he cried, throwing all his weight against her pull.

Kumatora paid his protests no mind, casually dragging him along behind her by his hand. "You'll never get laid if ya don't learn to flirt right!" she lectured, ignoring the way he spluttered in indignation. "I'll guide the conversation! You just have to look pretty and take my cues!"

"I don't need to ' _get laid'!"_ Lucas shrieked, his pale face turning an undignified shade of pink. He glanced about anxiously, but, luckily, the loud pop music playing in the opposite corner had muffled her words. It also helped that she'd found him corralled in the corner where he could hide in relative solitude. "And I don't _want_ to talk to him!"

"Yes, you _do!"_ Kuma's small reserve of patience was wearing thin. She spun around and grabbed Lucas' other wrist, holding them firmly no matter how he struggled. "You literally _just said_ that you wanted to talk to him!"

Lucas turned away, unable to meet her intense gaze. "I said that I'd like to get to know him better, not that I wanted to talk to him," he hissed under his breath, his face only heating up the more she insisted. "That's two very different things!"

He realized his mistake the second the words left his mouth, and he winced, waiting for the retaliation. Sure enough, Kumatora downright _cackled_ in response, pulling him even closer. "Oh, I get it," she whispered into his ear. "You want to know what he's like under that _tux._ I see what you're playing at." Her grin was like that of a particularly vicious Kangashark. "I must say, Lucas, I didn't think you were the type."

In any other situation, he might have screamed bloody murder and begin denying it loudly, making sure anyone and everyone nearby knew that he most certainly _wasn't_ the type. But right now, standing on the dance floor under flashing strobe lights in an uncomfortable suit, all he could do was stare up at her with suddenly misty eyes and mutter, "Please don't make me."

Kumatora's teasing smirk faded away into a sincere smile. She released one of his wrists to place a callused hand on Lucas' shoulder, unusually gentle. "Seriously. Lucas," she said soothingly, a far cry from her usual rough drawl. "I know it's hard for you. And I ain't telling ya to start goin' to raves and talking to random people on the street." He turned aside, averting his eyes, and she stubbornly ducked down back into his sight. "But I'm graduating next year, and I'm not leaving until I know you have somebody here to talk to."

Lucas pressed his lips firmly together and didn't respond. A light pink dust still clung to his cheeks, and a bead of sweat rolled down his neck.

Kumatora sighed. "Just trust me. I'm telling ya right now; he's not gonna freak out. I can tell. And, even if he did―" She pulled up the sleeve of her dress and flexed, wrapping a hand around her muscular arm. "―I would just knock in those pretty teeth!"

Despite himself, Lucas felt a smile slip across his lips, but he was sure to look anywhere but her face nonetheless. His heart was pounding in his ears at the mere thought of approaching someone he didn't even know. Sure, he had seen Ness around campus, and everyone knew him as an athlete who always had time to help out others, but that didn't mean he wouldn't ostracize Lucas like everyone else seemed to do.

Besides…

Lucas spared Ness another glance and immediately looked away, stomach sinking, his assumptions confirmed.

Even on the off-chance that the most popular kid in his class _was_ gay, Ness was completely and utterly out of his league. Lucas was baby-faced, even as a teenager, and had the lanky look of having grown too tall too quickly; he was five-foot-eleven and weighed maybe a hundred forty pounds soaking wet. Ness, on the other hand, was a star athlete, and it showed. Lucas may not have been the best judge of looks, but even he could tell that they were in completely separate spheres. And, although he didn't care much about physical appearance, he was pretty sure that was a dealbreaker for most people.

"Lucas."

He flinched and looked back over at Kuma. Her spiky pink hair was as unruly as ever, but, surprisingly, she'd put in the effort to wear a dress instead of her usual hoodie, and it made her look even more uncharacteristically solemn.

"Look," she said, frowning slightly as their eyes met. "It's one guy. He doesn't have a date, but he's not hiding at the punch bowl. That means he'd be open to conversation. He's really close with Paula, and she's a great judge of character. That means he's a good person. And he's wearing a _striped bow-tie._ That means _dork._ He'd be _perfect_ for you." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Do you really think I'd drag you into this if I didn't have good reason to believe that it might be the best decision of your life?"

He bit his lip. _Yes,_ he wanted to say. But she looked so utterly sincere that he couldn't help but believe her. He glanced back over at Ness, who was still leaning casually against the wall, watching the couples dance with a smile on his face.

Lucas sighed. He would probably regret this. But, then again, if he didn't say something now, he would definitely regret it for the rest of his life.

"Alright," he said quietly, turning back to Kumatora with a weak smile. She returned it tenfold. "Be my wingman, then."

Kumatora opened her mouth, probably to say something along the lines of _About time!_ She was interrupted by a mocking coo of "Aww, what a cute couple!" Lucas' head snapped around, the smile crashing off of his face, and he flinched when he saw the familiar form of the bully who had plagued him since elementary school. Immediately, all his doubts came rushing back to him, and he lowered his head, teeth once again worrying his lower lip. "I guess you finally decided to give up that homo shi―"

Kuma's hand shot out, palm facing him, fingers splayed wide. He had only a moment to start screaming before electricity crackled out from between her knuckles, striking the ground around him. He stumbled back and his back hit the sill of an open window just in time for a solid wall of ice to shove him right through it.

"Oh, no," Kuma snarled as he toppled over the edge, still screaming. "You are not backing out now, Lucas." With no further warning, she renewed her bone-crushing grip on his hand and turned on her heel, jerking him along behind her as she stalked towards Ness. Lucas' heart was going a million miles a minute; he expected someone to come rushing to the bully's aid, but no one even seemed to have noticed over the loud music. The music that was steadily getting louder as he was dragged towards its source. He tried to pry open his lips to tell Kuma to forget it, just take him home, but it was too late―his mouth went dry―

Ness was right in front of him, still leaning against the wall; still nonchalantly sipping a glass of punch as he watched the dancers roll past. Kumatora finally released him, although his knees were so weak that he found himself wishing she hadn't. Why had he allowed himself to nurse this crush for so long? Why hadn't he just gotten over himself and accepted that one of the most popular kids in his class wasn't going to like _him_ of all people? Why―?

"Yo," Kuma greeted, and panic smashed its way through Lucas' thoughts. He went rigid as Ness blinked and turned around to look at them, and _oh dear Phrygia, Ness was looking right at him._ "You seen Paula? I couldn't find her outside."

Ness grinned right back at her, unfazed. "I wondered who her date was," he said. His voice was deep for a teenager's, and his eyes were dark and full of mischief.

Kumatora's eyebrows raised. "You care?"

If anything, his grin only widened, and his eyes crinkled up in a genuine smile. "I also wondered when she was going to realize that boys weren't for her," he replied simply. "It was getting sad to see her insist that she was straight." As Kumatora grinned victoriously, nudging Lucas with her elbow and wiggling her eyebrows, Ness gestured to the other side of the room. "Paula just went over there looking for you."

Lucas stiffened.

Thoughts raced through his mind a mile a minute. Kuma had said she would be his wingman―she'd said that all he would have to do was follow her lead. Clearly, that was not the case. ' _Shit, no, abandon ship―'_

"Thanks. Name's Kumatora, by the way." Kumatora stepped aside and lightly punched his shoulder, knocking him out of his reverie; he stumbled in Ness' direction. "This is Lucas." Somehow, she managed to make it sound casual; like an afterthought. "He's my honorary little bro."

And then Ness was stepping just a little too closely into his personal space, something between a grin and an honest smile spreading across his face; _looking right at him._ "Nice to meetcha, Lucas," he said, and was it just Lucas' imagination, or had his voice gotten deeper? "I'm Ness." He held out his hand for a shake.

Lucas could feel his face heating up already, and he nearly burst into relieved tears when the flashing lights overhead turned pink at an opportune time, masking his blush. "Uh," he began, and it was all he could do to keep from smacking himself. "Uh, y-yeah. Nice to meet you." He took the offered hand tenderly. Ness' grip was firm and certain, and Lucas managed to throw a smile onto his face. The music was just barely quiet enough for his voice to be audible, and he made a mental note to stay at that volume.

Kuma quickly spoke up, stretching casually. "You run track, right?" she tossed over Lucas' shoulder. "We've seen you at meets."

Ness' gaze flickered over to her for a moment. "Yup. I do sprints." He immediately returned his attention to Lucas. "Your brother runs, right? Claus?" Lucas just nodded mutely, but Ness didn't seem to mind. He just grinned even wider, eyes flashing, and he looked so _proud_ for having remembered Claus' name that Lucas laughed a bit despite himself. "I've seen you in the stands a lot, but I never saw you run, so I assumed it must be your brother."

Now turning something closer to fuchsia, Lucas reminded himself to smile and nod at the last moment. "Uh, yeah." Only now did he realize that he'd never let go of Ness' hand after the handshake; he hastily drew his arm to his side and took a step back. "I… volunteer at the popcorn stand sometimes." His mind was racing. ' _He remembers my face…?'_

Ness laughed heartily. "That, I didn't know! I'll have to make my way back there sometime."

Despite himself, Lucas felt his forced smile ease out into a real one at the sound of Ness' laughter. Even as he scolded himself with a sharp ' _He probably remembers everyone who shows up to every single meet; or maybe he just noticed because you always watch his events like a total creep,'_ he found himself more relaxed than he had been all night. Maybe, he allowed himself to think, Kumatora was right. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Well," Kuma cut in quickly, "I better go find Paula."

Over the span of exactly eight syllables, any confidence he might have gathered left him. The smile on his face deflated rapidly, although he fought to keep it up. ' _Shit, did I say this might not be bad? Because nevermind, abort mission―'_

Kumatora's hand alighted on his shoulder as she passed him, and she leaned in close. "Dude," she whispered in his ear, a bit more smug than he was comfortable with, "he's more head-over-heels than you are. Compliment his suit and ask him for a dance. Just trust me on this one." With that, she was gone, weaving through the crowds with ease to find her date.

For a long moment, Lucas just stood there, frozen to the spot, eyes staring blankly ahead and smile still slathered on his face. Then Ness stepped closer and he snapped back to attention, barely stopping himself from flinching. "Something wrong?" Ness asked, eyebrows tilted upwards and eyes wide.

Maybe it was Kumatora's words finally getting through. Maybe it was the fact that Ness' suit actually fit him―quite well in fact. Maybe it was the fact that Lucas hadn't been able to shake this crush after a solid three years. But, most likely, it was the sheer concern and caring on Ness' face that gave Lucas the last iota of courage he needed.

Lucas took a deep, deep breath, getting as much air into his lungs as possible, before slowly releasing it to calm his nerves. Tense as a swinging Rope Snake and pinker than Kumatora's hair, he tried to hold Ness' gaze, but failed, and instead directed his eyes to the silly blue-and-yellow striped bow-tie around his neck. He swallowed thickly.

' _It's now or never.'_

"I like your suit," he declared in a sudden burst of bravery, fists clenching at his sides. This time, when he looked into Ness' eyes, he stayed there. "It looks really good on you. Almost as good as your track uniform."

Ness fell silent.

Seconds ticked by. Lucas didn't blink or back down; he remained steady. Five seconds. His clenched fists slowly released. Ten seconds. His eyes lost their fire and dropped back down to rest on the bow-tie. Fifteen seconds. He swallowed a ball of saliva so heavy it nearly choked him, shrinking back.

Twenty seconds. Still, no reply.

' _Shit.'_ Kumatora was wrong. ' _Shit.'_ His instincts had misled him. ' _Shit.'_ This had been a horrible idea from the start.

' _ **Shit.'**_

He was going bright pink again―he knew he was―he wanted to cry; he felt the tears well up―no, that would just make things worse―he had _known_ tonight would be a mistake; he should never have come here―God, but he'd _wished,_ he'd even _hoped_ ―but it was stupid―why _pink,_ why did he have to turn _pink_ of all colors―couldn't he at least turn red? That was a manlier color―would other boys like him if he blushed red instead of pink?― _God,_ he was so _stupid―_

Laughter.

He blinked, releasing his lip from between his teeth (when had he started biting it?). Glancing up, he saw Ness, not red-faced with rage as he had expected, but just red-cheeked, an adorable genuine smile on his face. "I'm sorry," he chuckled, hand moving up in an aborted attempt to hide his smile. "Just… you're really cute when you blush."

Lucas' brain shut down.

Just as well. If he hadn't frozen there was no telling how he would've reacted when Ness stepped closer and quietly straightened Lucas' red tie. As it was, he was far too busy hyperventilating to worry about suddenly having someone right up in his personal space. Ness glanced up at him, and Lucas could see the exact moment that he realized his mistake; the moment his eyes widened and his breath caught and he urgently whispered, "Lucas? Are you alright?"

Too late. His head was still pounding, his heart beating wildly, as he tried and failed to convince himself that everything was fine. ' _Shit, shit, shit, I never should have come here―'_ Suddenly, it was too crowded; too loud; too hot, and the walls were closing in on him, the ceiling collapsing on his head―

Ness' hand found its way to the small of his back, and he found himself being lead hastily outside. "C'mon," came the voice, filled with not anger or even exasperation, just worry and understanding. "Let's get you some fresh air."

As soon as they crossed the threshold, everything began to come back into focus. It was already evening―they'd missed the sunset, but the sky was a deep periwinkle that Lucas had always loved. It reminded him of Tazmily; he rarely saw it out here in Eagleland, which wasn't particularly smoggy but didn't have the same clear air as the Nowhere Islands.

Ironically enough, it was the sky that managed to ground him. Gasping for breath, he doubled over, the last few minutes taking their toll on his heart rate. He'd at least dipped below 'about to pass out' territory. As his chest heaved, his aching lungs doing their best to suck in enough air to make up for the past thirty seconds, Ness rubbed his back gently. "It's okay," he muttered, quieter than Lucas had ever heard him. He paused. "I'm... sorry for freaking you out back there."

"No," Lucas gasped, straightening now that his diaphragm wasn't tightening sporadically. "No, I'm sorry." He had to admit, although being this out of breath was a bit terrifying, it did create an excellent excuse to think long and hard about his words before saying them. It was nearly a minute later when Lucas finally added, "I… I meant it, though."

Ness shot him a curious look and Lucas tried his best not to freak out, remembering what Ness had said earlier. Still, that wasn't quite enough to take the tremor out of his voice when he muttered, "I, uh… I think you look r-really good."

The silence was heavy. To break the tense atmosphere, Lucas quickly added, "Way better than me, in any case. Even with the striped bow-tie." He tacked a crooked smile onto the end, and it wasn't entirely fabricated.

He was expecting Ness to smirk and quip back (because it was at least more interesting than Lucas' own plain red tie). After all, that was why he'd added the not-quite-insult; it was an easy conversation starter. Instead, Ness looked up at him with wide eyes and a small smile. "I wouldn't say that I look better than you," he said, reaching up to scratch the back of his head. Suddenly, he stepped forward and his hand shot into Lucas' hair, disheveling it. "Muss your hair up like so, and voila!" He backed up and gestured dramatically, courteously pretending not to notice how Lucas's cheeks and ears were just about permanently pink at this point.

For a moment, he surveyed his handiwork with a manufactured air of critique, narrowing his eyes and touching his chin with a drawn-out "Hmmmm..." Then, eyes lighting up, he shouted "Aha!" a bit too loudly for Lucas' liking. Ness turned on his heel and hurried off of the sidewalk, kneeling down in the tall grass, and Lucas started.

"No no no, don't ruin your pants―" Lucas fretted, chasing after him.

Right on the edge of the sidewalk, Ness came barrelling back out of the grass, nearly colliding with him. Without missing a beat, Ness reached for Lucas' breast pocket and held it open, slipping a sprig of what looked like yellow wildflowers inside. "There!" he declared, placing both hands on his hips. "Now we match!" Enthusiastically, he gestured to the yellow in his bow-tie.

Laughter bubbled up in Lucas' chest, and he didn't dare suppress it. "I guess we do," he agreed with a half-snort, and, for the first time that night, his renowned contagious smile spread across his face. His lips parted slightly, showing his teeth, and his eyes crinkled up, another laugh spilling out from the gap in his two front teeth.

An indecipherable look crossed Ness' face. His grin faded, replaced with a small, almost tired smile. He drew close again, but slower this time, reaching up to straighten Lucas' tie once more. "Y'know," he said carefully, deliberating every word before it came out, "I bet you could get all the girls like this."

He looked up fleetingly. Two sets of dark eyes met. He quickly looked away.

"...or boys."

The night was quiet. It seemed like even the sound of the music from inside had faded away to nothing. Not even crickets dared disturb the moment. Silently, Ness continued to adjust Lucas' tie, pretending like it was actually crooked. When he looked up again, he was caught, two dark blue eyes holding him in place. Lucas was no longer smiling; his face was relatively blank, his eyes wide. As they stared at each other, Lucas slowly lifted his arms from his sides and settled them around Ness' shoulders.

"Boys," he whispered, so quietly that the wind could have blown it away.

The wind did not blow.

Otherwise, the silence remained unbroken. That one word seemed to echo across the sidewalk, reverberating against the walls of the building behind them. Slowly but surely, Ness released his hold on Lucas' tie, instead wrapping both arms around his waist.

"Boys," he agreed.

Neither one could tell when they transitioned from the traditional middle-school dancing position to a ballroom-style pose. And neither one could tell when they stopped staring into each other's eyes and started to waltz back and forth.

And no one could tell who leaned in for the kiss first.

* * *

"So, how did you do it?"

Smirking, Paula took the glass of punch offered to her, peering out of the second-story window to get a better look at the lovebirds below. "Oh, you know," she trilled, voice falsely innocent, "the usual tactics."

Kumatora casually leaned herself against the edge of the windowsill, sipping her own punch. "Do tell," she said, not bothering to keep the conniving edge out of her voice.

If Paula had been smirking before, there probably wasn't a word strong enough to describe the expression on her face now. "You have to be subtle," she said smugly, leaning against the wall next to her girlfriend. "You have to plant the idea in their mind a long time before it needs to bloom. You have to slowly put the idea in there." (Kumatora chose not to comment that Paula would never be reclining against the dusty wall if they hadn't been spending so much time together.)

"I never thought you'd be capable of that kinda thing," Kumatora drawled teasingly, returning Paula's smirk with twice the intensity. "You're way more maniacal than I gave ya credit for, I gotta say." She paused to take a long gulp of her punch.

Paula shrugged. "Well," she admitted, "I also got Tracy involved. We've been dropping little tidbits about Lucas being at the dance without a date for weeks now. I know planning ahead isn't your thing, but it does tend to pay off." She directed a fondly exasperated smile in Kumatora's general direction. "Speaking of which, can I assume that you just showed up to Lucas' place with a rental suit and dragged him off?"

"Why would you guess that," Kumatora droned in an utter monotone. "Do you think I am some form of scoundrel. I am a respected member of the community. This offends me greatly. Why, I have half a mind to―"

"Yes, well, call me crazy," Paula interrupted, "but I just got two thick-headed, oblivious teenage boys to wear suits and hug at a prom, so clearly my methods work."

A smirk spread itself across Kumatora's face, this one of an entirely different origin. "You seem proud."

Soft laughter. "Aren't you?" All of the mischief drained away from Paula's face as she glanced down at them again, replaced with an almost motherly smile. "Just look at them, Kuma."

Kumatora readily obliged, and she couldn't help but smile too when she saw her honorary little brother slow dancing with the man of his dreams, his oversized suit hanging off of his limbs. She pushed herself off from the wall and strode over to stand right beside Paula, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "We did good, Paula," she whispered, closing her eyes with a content smile. "We did good."

Minutes passed in companionable silence, the sound of music from the floor below pleasantly muffled but still audible. Then Kumatora's eyes opened and she cleared her throat pointedly.

"Yeah?" Paula muttered, not bothering to open her eyes. When she received no response, she pursed her lips and opened one eye, only to see Kumatora's hand hovering in front of her face. She traced the hand up to its owner just in time to see a huge grin spread across Kumatora's face.

"Don't tell me Ness is the only one who gets to dance with a cute blonde tonight."

Paula just laughed, happily joining hands with her girlfriend.

"No, I don't think he is."

* * *

 _For she's a jolly good feeeeee-llow, for she's a jolly good feeeeee-llow, for she's a jolly good feeeeee-llooooooow! ...something something something._

 _Happy Birthday, Oneechan. I hope you liked it! I wasn't really sure what to write for your birthday, so I just picked some ships out of a hat and wrote a oneshot, ehe..._

 _Anyway, happy birthday, and I wish I could be there!_


End file.
